Fuck! I feel like shit. one step forward 3 steps back. I really do need something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyd8dY8rRtA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

I am one. The black sheep of the family. I feel as if I've lost my family. I have not spoke to my sister in over a year. And although I say it doesn't bother me it does. The problem is i don't think it bothers her. I don't know what it is that I said or did to her for her not to want me around. I guess blood is not thicker than water. It is true i dont like her partner. I don't think hes good ekough for her. I dont think he's good enough for my beautiful niece. I am no angel and i know I have left a trail of destruction behind me over the last few years and for that im incredibly sorry to all those that were affected by my actions. I'm trying to get back on track.. I wish all my family all the best and nothing but lovsee you n this life or the next in th